In the beginning... No really

Okay so I'm not going to explain in one entry how long my left and right brain have been rumbling but let's just say it's been a long rumble.  It is epic... like the Hatfields and McCoys feud.  What do they argue about, everything and nothing.  The constant bickering and insults is exhausting yet has made for some spectacular, gut-wrenching, and soul shattering moments.  There are small cracks all over my psyche & soul... If you look really close maybe you'll see them but most don't.  These tiny fractures are mine own unique pattern of experience.  They tell the story of my life through their smooth, jagged, deep, shallow, straight, zigzagged randomness.

When I used to look at myself I saw a shattered human being with huge pieces missing,  Gaping voids taunting the divided regions of myself.  

"How can you ever be a functional and productive part of society?" Left Brain (LB) would scold.

"Will I ever be whole and healed." Right Brain (RB) would lament.  

One accusing, the other asking for forgiveness but both ashamed of their fragmented existence.  Shame the one thing both sides agreed on.  But how to fix themselves was a whole other problem.  Like Israel & Palestine,... essentially the same people with different philosophies of how to live so often at odds.   Right now they are in talks about ending their feud.  Both are at the table but you never know when one will just get up and walk out.  

 I don't know if either side has ever understood that in order to mend they must fine completeness in each other.  Guess it is a good think I enjoy boxing. Lucky me I get front row seats to all the Royal Rumbles.  And in case you are wondering, yes, you do get splattered by the carnage.