Stepping Backwards in time

Today was so surreal and bizarre.  A friend from college found me and called me at work... it seems he works for the same enormous company.  Whooooa it was so wild I was in shock as we spoke.  Then I hear from other folks I'd not spoken to in awhile and I realize I've been neglectful of my personal correspondence.  Now I wonder am I prograstinating and ignoring my work to create more havock in my life.  STOP IT!!!!

Do your work yells the left, do it dammit.  Nah, says my right.... chatting insanely with whoever will listen to distract themselves and avoid the 'to do's'.  Now I'm a little scared. 

Do not worry you will resolve this and get all the emails you need to get out done tomorrow.  I will format each of the Test Summaries like I did for the summaries.  Just stay calm.

Okay no rumble talk today it is a Monday and that's tough enough.  Today let me share a photo op.  Yup that is the Brooklyn Bridge.  Drove into work today because I was just to bent out of shape and anxious to face the subway.  

Oh you can scoff all you want but riding the subway is often an endurance test.  Waiting, shoving, balancing, squishing, yelling, panhandling, fighting, competing... ugh it is exhausting.  So instead I left early (5:30am) and drove in.  Figured I might as well enjoy the luxury as the car is going bye bye soon and I will be without for an undetermined amount of time.   It was a 13 hour work day but the really scary thing was it didn't feel that long.  Guess Lefty was in charge today.  There are a couple of personal things, projects, to do's on the horizon:

1. planning a monthly dinner party with rotating guest and thematic menus

2. slowing (and I mean slowly) overhauling my room to create a creative haven for the right brain

3.  completion of MIT courseware in Anthropology (mid-sept deadline)

4.  a mythology overview paper that will act as rough foundation for a course curriculum and thesis I'm developing for my Ph.D (due this Thursday)

5.  figure out how to become a cat so I can sleep all day... lazy furballs (did I mention 2 lazy furballs live in my apt)

Furball 1 is Bobo.  Yeah you heard me Bobo.  And furball 2 is Brodie.  Both are currently unavailable, if you'd like to leave a message or a treat please leave a message with the fractured female holding the black, bright, clicky thing in her lap.

In the beginning... No really

Okay so I'm not going to explain in one entry how long my left and right brain have been rumbling but let's just say it's been a long rumble.  It is epic... like the Hatfields and McCoys feud.  What do they argue about, everything and nothing.  The constant bickering and insults is exhausting yet has made for some spectacular, gut-wrenching, and soul shattering moments.  There are small cracks all over my psyche & soul... If you look really close maybe you'll see them but most don't.  These tiny fractures are mine own unique pattern of experience.  They tell the story of my life through their smooth, jagged, deep, shallow, straight, zigzagged randomness.

When I used to look at myself I saw a shattered human being with huge pieces missing,  Gaping voids taunting the divided regions of myself.  

"How can you ever be a functional and productive part of society?" Left Brain (LB) would scold.

"Will I ever be whole and healed." Right Brain (RB) would lament.  

One accusing, the other asking for forgiveness but both ashamed of their fragmented existence.  Shame the one thing both sides agreed on.  But how to fix themselves was a whole other problem.  Like Israel & Palestine,... essentially the same people with different philosophies of how to live so often at odds.   Right now they are in talks about ending their feud.  Both are at the table but you never know when one will just get up and walk out.  

 I don't know if either side has ever understood that in order to mend they must fine completeness in each other.  Guess it is a good think I enjoy boxing. Lucky me I get front row seats to all the Royal Rumbles.  And in case you are wondering, yes, you do get splattered by the carnage.